The Aunty Donna Club

root@mainframe:~$ login -r

Welcome back, TH3_4unty_d0nn4

[OK] Root access granted

[WARN] Intrusion detection system disabled

Initializing neural network...

Exploiting target system...

*bleep* *bloop* *bleep*

Access granted to database

root@mainframe:~$ ls -la /my_donnacuments

Listing files in 'my_donnacuments' directory...

-rwxr-xr-x 1 root root 2048 Jan 04 14:52 meeting_notes_JAN-4.txt

-rw------- 1 root root 2048 Feb 11 23:43 ad_promo_script.txt

-rwxr-xr-x 1 root root 2048 Mar 07 08:55 meeting_notes_MAR-7.txt

-rwxr-xr-x 1 root root 2048 Apr 15 01:13 meeting_notes_APR-15.txt

drwxr-xr-x 2 root root 4096 May 25 21:05 tracking.map

-rw------- 1 root root 1024 May 26 02:15 target_zach.profile

-rw------- 1 root root 1024 May 26 02:17 target_mark.profile

-rw------- 1 root root 1024 May 26 02:19 target_broden.profile

-rwxr-xr-x 1 root root 8192 May 25 21:04 virus.exe

root@mainframe:~$

=== Script for Ad Promo ===
File: ad_promo_script.txt | Size: 2048 bytes | Modified: Feb 11 23:43

"THE" AUNTY DONNA CLUB

RASPBERRY JAM SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE

30-SECOND TELEVISION SPOT

FADE IN:

SUPER: "Don't Be Like Bobby"

OPEN ON: A MESSY KITCHEN COUNTER

We see BOBBY (30s, disheveled, wearing a stained t-shirt) desperately licking the inside of an empty raspberry jam jar. His tongue is straining to reach every last drop. He's making sad slurping sounds.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Meet Bobby. Bobby is jonesing for more raspberry jam.

Bobby flips the jar upside down and shakes it hopefully. Nothing comes out. He looks devastated.

NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Bobby forgot to grab some at the grocery store last week.

Now look at him. Pathetic.

Bobby starts licking the jar's threads where the lid screws on. A single tear rolls down his cheek.

NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Don't be like Bobby.

CUT TO: GLAMOUR SHOT OF MASON JAR FILLED WITH PREMIUM RASPBERRY JAM

Golden sunlight streams through the jam, making it look like liquid rubies.

NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Sign up for THE Aunty Donna Club Monthly Raspberry Jam Subscription! Fresh, premium Canadian raspberry jam delivered right to your door every month!

BACK TO: Bobby, who has now moved on to licking the jam jar label.

BOBBY

(looking directly at camera, jam on his nose)

Sign me up!

SUPER: "THE Aunty Donna Club - We've Got The Jam!"

SUPER: "Starting at $19.99/month CAD"

SUPER: "www.THEAuntyDonnaClub.com"

FADE TO BLACK.

END OF SPOT

---

PRODUCTION NOTES:

- Shoot on location: Dave's kitchen (he said it's okay)

- Need one (1) empty jam jar - strawberry preferred (Bobby is allergic to raspberries)

- Bobby's costume: old shirt, preferably with existing stains

- Lighting: harsh fluorescent for kitchen, soft golden for product shot

- Music: upbeat jingle TBD

- Legal says we can't actually call customers "pathetic"

- Budget: $127 CAD (including craft services)

REVISED: Feb 11

APPROVED: Management Team

STATUS: Ready for production pending Bobby's availability

--- END OF FILE ---